They asked me to
never make someone your
everything because
even the most beautiful
people in your life will
break your heart, but
some speck of idealism within,
glowing like a will-o’-the-wisp
made sure I didn’t listen,
I thought you’ll forever transpose
this song of life
from a Drop D tuned, grungy,
angst-ridden mess
to something in major –
melodic and uplifting,
I thought you’ll help me
see strong, steely Gabriel
and white-robed, brilliant Uriel
instead of grotesque
gargoyles with fangs,
but I was wrong,
and the demands I made
only pushed you away,
I made you my idol, my
little golden goddess whom I
worshipped and only
now realise that isn’t love,
it’s hankering for a better
dream, pinning all your
hopes on a person just as
finite as you are, and expecting
them to work miracles by
healing your madness,
supercharging your self-esteem,
and answering your prayers,
it was selfish, but I don’t
know what was worse,
you trying to be the prophetess
of goodwill, I made you out to be,
imploring me to believe
that the epoch of refreshment
and peace was coming
with the softest raindrops
and the scent of jasmines,
or me convincing myself
that I was insanely in
love with you just because
now and then
a soothing tune gave me
respite from the
nightmares and apparitions
that wove their way out of
the cracked, beige walls
of the bedroom, threatening
to pull me within
and silence me forever
with their screams.
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