Hey man,  

I took some pills yesterday, the wild, blue devil stuff Macy sells, and my creative juices started flowing. My mind buzzed with inspiration, and I wrote something after almost a year. So, I wrote this jingle, and since you’re in the advertising business, I wondered if you could pitch it to McDonald’s. It goes like this: 

Ronald McDonald had a farm 

Ee i ee i o 

And on his farm, he ate some cows 

Ee i ee i o  

With a Big Mac here  

And a McDouble there 

Here a patty, there a fatty 

Everywhere a fatty-patty 

Ronald McDonald had a farm 

Ee i ee i o 

Think about it, man. It’s edgy and catchy, and it’s got this rad rhythm to it. It’s the stuff that sells. No one wants to watch an ad about some family business which features a group of people sitting at an outdoor dining table under a clear sky with generic smiles on their faces. It’s the macabre shit that the world lives for. The seedy crap and the controversy. Come to think of it, this jingle isn’t even that dark. It’s just an adult version of a nursery rhyme. You could, however, pair it with shots of a tattooed, bald Ronald McDonald wearing a black tank top, holding a bloody butcher knife. That would get a newer, darker generation that’s hooked on cyberpunk, horror and violent RPGs coming in droves to every McDonald’s across the country. So, think about it, okay? Ee i ee i o?

Photo by Joiarib Morales Uc on Unsplash

7 responses to “Jingle”

  1. EIEIO YO BRO I’ll have ketchup on my fries.


    1. Would you like to try our new bacon infused fries with thick veiny sausages? We’ll get you your ketchup, don’t worry and a prayer book.


      1. What’s a prayer book? Is it edible?


      2. Just to book of prayers to help you cope with the high intake of cholesterol! An edible prayer book is right out of Heston Blumenthal’s wheelhouse https://youtu.be/5eavFIxrH-E


      3. That video was so much fun!!


  2. I think you’re onto something. This is right up my alley. “…with a heart attack here and a heart attack there. Here a splat there a splat everywhere there’s heart attacks…old McDonald had a farm…e i e i o.” And I did notice you left out the “old” because a guy who eats McDonalds won’t live to be “old.” 😉


    1. Oh boy. That made me laugh out loud 😂 Hard. You could write a horror story with some shady guy selling burgers on a farm. I’ve switched to Burger King btw. Don’t want to be reminded of the ‘old’ bit in the nursery rhyme!


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About Me

Ordinary Person is a guy who likes to write. He writes fiction, essays, poems and other stuff.


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