I’m listening to Creep by Radiohead

for the umpteenth time

and I get it. I just do. I am a damn creep,

a shadowy, sinister madman/boogeyman/

sad man who emerged from murky

pools of oblivion, spammed FB feeds

with his bleak, obscure poetry that

centred on what he deemed ‘esoteric

truths’ but were really asinine

ramblings. Who do you think you

are? I’d scream, but no one listened.

Who am I? I’d whisper at the virtual,

altar of confession where women talked

about men ogling, and anxiety that

sounded like a metronome on speed.

I’d say I’m an odd-time signature, a

5/4, never fitting in, but making enough

of an impact to make them remember

me, but who did? No one, I tell you.

Nobody fucking did. Back then I’d

lash out at the ‘conformist pigs with

their devotion to cliques and hierarchies,

staring at the symbols on the wall and

refusing to listen to the man who’d seen

the light,’ but fuck me! Wasn’t I a pretentious

little dope, spouting half-baked knowledge

and making it seem like a recherché philosophy?

Sheesh, I was such an ignoramus!

A shambling muttonhead who should

have dunked his head in a bowl of soup.

Anyhow, no one can rework things

and make it all look like I was a misguided

genius, because they’ve all seen through

me. They’ve seen enough to know that

I was an idiot who thought he was

brilliant. Damn, where’s that bowl of

soup when you need it? So, why am I writing

this now? Do the last vestiges of pride

compel me to prattle on about a past

that my mind wants to forget?

Is it some false sense of humility,

kind of like a feigned naïveté

that feeds the ego

while appearing innocent?

I don’t know, but I think we’ve reached

the end of this long poem.

I think I don’t care anymore whether

I’m a forgotten book in the corner

of the attic, or the prized possession

of someone who cares but refuses to

admit it, or the laughing stock.

I don’t care if I’m free or hogtied,

if I’m running a marathon while

the crowd cheers me on, or if

I’m only playing a game in which I’m running,

imagining the people in the stands.

Innocence fades, love vanishes

and then ennui sets in, and finally

in the languor of a humid night,

apathy, or better yet, a sense of non-being,

a going with the flow, I don’t care, now pass

me the damn froyo, and even if I’m sad

I won’t confront it, and if I’m mad, fuck it,

nonchalance, an end to nostalgia, and

a grasping of the eternal present.

18 responses to “Whatever”

  1. You’ve earned a standing ovation!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Lauren. That really means a lot ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Brilliant! This is so raw and filled with emotion.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much Tanmay! I’m glad you liked it.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. The lines “A shambling muttonhead who should – have dunked his head in a bowl of soup.” made me laugh, though.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol I was hoping someone would find that funny. I was laughing a little myself when I wrote those lines 😂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Maybe they were truths for a time…and maybe you were deceived. Maybe that place was simply a stepping stone to rise to the next level. We can’t change the past…but we can change our trajectory for the future. ( and no one wants to waste good soup 😉 )💞

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah that’s definitely a way of looking at it. It’s true methinks. My experiences shaped me and made me wiser. Thanks for the comment Dawn 😊 Chicken soup sounds good! Although I don’t mind some spicy seafood soup too 😋

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Chicken would really hit the spot right now!!! 💞

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I ate some good chicken kebabs yesterday! Not soup, but pretty satisfying in its own way. I’ll probably eat a lot more today because I’m attending a wedding.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. “Metronome on speed” had me chuckling…for so many reasons. I love it

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol I’m glad it made you laugh. I wanted it to read as a droll, self-deprecating piece. I guess I succeeded.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I really love this, it feels so raw and open and funny and satisfying at the same time ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Jennifer ❤️. It’s me channelling my self-loathing into a confessional I guess. I’m glad you found it funny too. It ended up sounding very meta I think.


      1. I love the way you express yourself, keep being you. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

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About Me

Ordinary Person is a guy who likes to write. He writes fiction, essays, poems and other stuff.


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