There must be more to all of this

I tried my best. I did

what I could, she says,

and my heart breaks.

I want to hold her and tell

her that everything will be

okay, that we’ll settle down

in a small cottage nestled

in the mountains overlooking

a verdant valley with a

friendly golden retriever

named Buddy. But everything

crumbles in the end,

life becomes shadow

and viridescent trees,

ashen ghosts, skulking spectres

ashamed of what they’ve become,

and age melts into sorrowed age

dulling everything until all that’s

left is an echoing sob from

the deepest recesses of the soul,

begging for validation

from anyone who’s willing

to pause and give a damn,

say, I appreciate you.

So I stroke her hair and

agree that she did her best

and tell her she’s capable of

much more, despite the chaos

within burning away traces of

selflessness, my conscience

darting back and forth like

a manic compass, unable to get

its bearings, reprimanding me for

my lack of everything,

and the weltschmerz bleaching

all the roles I’ve played or

imagined I’ve played in life —

hero, villain, intelligent man, fool,

saint, sinner, madman,

kind man —

until I know I’m there for

her, but not in a way I should

be or one she deserves.

Photo by Eric Muhr on Unsplash

10 responses to “There must be more to all of this”

  1. Incredibly powerful, raw and sad. Life is so many things and sometimes all at once. Wonderful writing my friend ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Very true. It’s pretty crazy when it’s so many things all at once. Thank you so much for your kind words Jennifer ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s my pleasure, as always ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

  2. So many emotions in this piece, Nitin, but the most prominent ones are melancholy and longing (I feel) 💞💞💞

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Dawn ❤️ I felt those same emotions writing it.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Beautiful lines full of emotions! ☺️👍

    Liked by 1 person

  4. “all the roles I’ve played or

    imagined I’ve played in life —”

    yup. I so feel this

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much JYP. I’m glad you can relate to it.


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About Me

Ordinary Person is a guy who likes to write. He writes fiction, essays, poems and other stuff.


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