Life and yada yada

Photo by Zachary DeBottis on Pexels.com

Once dawn broke through

with her lucent wings,

soaring down like a phoenix,

bringing with her fierce reckoning

and shaking off hebetude —

the sins of your foes avenged

by the flick of the wrist, the

tossing aside of the bed sheet,

the morning run,

breakfast at 7, and a need

to be somebody everybody notices.

Now a plaintive, Anybody?

saturates an already forsaken

world of laptop chargers,

uncharged phones,

unwashed linen,

cabinets with white mould,

32 cigarettes in the ashtray

and broken television screens

with the sickly green of rejection.

You wonder if you should cry

because you frighten them when

all you’ve wanted is for them to

appreciate you, respect you for

a change. “First impressions!” a

girl from your past chimes from

somewhere within the murky mist.

Haven’t I proved enough? Paid for

my mistakes, and earned my place?

you cry aloud. “First impressions!”

You aren’t that swaying,

impressionable idiot

with downcast eyes

and an awkward gait,

personifying the

ugly season between

summer and the monsoon,

humid and pungent,

when diseases

claw their way

to this realm from

Abaddon’s violent pit,

shaping themselves

like locusts and

infecting Harry and Sally,

Timmy and Julie.

“First impressions!”

Then another voice,

a second girl:

“Your poetry is dark! dark! dark!”

Yes! Yes! Yes! That’s me expressing

myself, my deepest pain and guilt,

the scaffold of reprobation

and the puritanical angst

are already there, but you’re

the rope, misperceiving every damn

thing about me.

“Dark! Dark! Dark!”

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Give me a damn

break, won’t you?

You float through the stuffy corridors

of your apartment like a ghost

without a person to haunt

because ‘your tribe’ left you

when you started a blog

thinking you’ll find the camaraderie

of like-minded, introspective bums,

unafraid of pain and circumstance,

when you posted your first

confessional on FB dovetailing

patriarchal blows with your lows

(looking back, the old man turned

out better than these bastards.

At least he cares in his own way),

when you wrote about suicide,

breaking every barrier that separates

the popcorn munching audience

from the cringe,

when you threw in religion, yes,

nothing like Calvinistic madness

to trigger the most reasonable person,

making him pluck the petals of his TULIP,

and stomp them with crimson fury,

when you gave up,

and sat — like you do now —

the cigarette smoke, your only

friend, music faux-comforting you

like a sycophant oiling your back

with the most fragrant Navratna.



15 responses to “Life and yada yada”

  1. Incredible writing Nitin, incredible!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much Jennifer ❤️ You are very kind.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I love your vocabulary and how you write.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Feets 😊 That means a lot to me

      Liked by 1 person

  3. This is brilliantly written❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  4. You are not just in flow you are in a raging river and anything and all can float up and be snatched and written down and it’s good…it’s very good.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Inspiration comes and goes. I don’t force it unless I’m writing long prose. Thank you for such a lovely comment. It means a lot.

      Like

  5. Fair weather friends come and go. Don’t pay them too much heed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah I guess you’re right. I have very few friends though. Most people from my past only pretended to care or didn’t bother at all.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Can’t give you advice on this. I am horrible at any sort of interpersonal relationship.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Nah it’s okay. It’s reached a stage where I’ve grown apathetic. I’m better off without people from my past. Well this might sound petty, but the only reason I want some of them around is for them to see me satisfied and living a happy life lol.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. That last line, Nitin! Did you really mean Navratana oil??

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes! Whenever I go to a barber here, he asks me if he should use that oil for a head massage. So I figured I’d throw it in there lol

      Like

      1. Lol! I am sorry Navratan threw me off track. Your words melancholic words had a beautiful flow.

        Like

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About Me

Ordinary Person is a guy who likes to write. He writes fiction, essays, poems and other stuff.

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