funny
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Daily Prompt
What do you complain about the most? A stalker (possibly from Canada) who uses a VPN to mask his location, and views my posts at least 70 times a day. I’m no longer bothered, though. More stats = A chance for me to introduce paid advertising here, and hope the idiot clicks on it. Continue reading
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Pseudo Mini Cantos
A.S. I have never read The Cantos and don’t plan on doing so. Sister Margaret’s resignation 1 It’s time for me to leave the nunnery, And become a pioneer of modern gunnery. To Agnes and Augustine, I’m no longer tied, I’m a gun moll and I need my Clyde. 2 enough of vespers and choir… Continue reading
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From the heart of the friendzone, the sequel
From TopGolf to skydiving to eating reindeer and an exquisite soufflé in Noma to letting me sleep in the Queen’s suite at the Ritz while you took an ordinary room, Mark, you’ve made me realise I must settle for nothing less than greatness in a man. Thank you so much for this friend-date/ friend-vacation/ friend-world tour.… Continue reading
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Shall I compare you to a winter’s night?
Shall I compare you to a winter’s night? You are so prudish and troublingly cold. Your fiery scorn asphyxiates the light And damn, I can’t take it! I’m getting old! The blazing depths of hell gaze up at me, And my complexion is dulled and dimmed. Please stop! Leave me alone! Just let me… Continue reading
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Video game remakes
We’re living in the era of video game remakes, but what irritates me is that most of the remakes are the same game with gameplay improvements and next generation graphics. So, here’s my two cents. I’m sure a lot of you will disagree, but doesn’t debate fuel inspiration, making muses descend from their celestial abodes… Continue reading
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An anime character gains awareness
Makamo-san, do you ever feel like none of this is real? We seem to be on an endless quest for power, fighting off the Koji and the Gakaru, going through saga after saga of violence, death and rebirth. I think there’s someone sinister beyond the ends of this world who decides what we do with… Continue reading
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Why we must cancel Chelsea Owens
A few years ago, I came across a poetry contest on WordPress that was still in its nascent stages. It was Chelsea Owens’ Terrible Poetry Contest. I think everyone knows about it now. Winning it is like winning a Pulitzer to some, and I empathise with those people, because I felt that way once, too.… Continue reading
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The anguish of a pacifistic troll
Dearly Beloved, We gather here to mourn the passing of this goblin, Nik Wik. As a pacifistic troll who weeps rivers of anguish at the state of the eleventh earth, I’m here to condemn violence in every form. Why can’t we stop these battles which butcher innocents like Nik Wik in the name of Mythrall, a… Continue reading
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Jingle
Hey man, I took some pills yesterday, the wild, blue devil stuff Macy sells, and my creative juices started flowing. My mind buzzed with inspiration, and I wrote something after almost a year. So, I wrote this jingle, and since you’re in the advertising business, I wondered if you could pitch it to McDonald’s. It goes… Continue reading
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The benefits of having a stalker
I remember the first comment. It said, “You’re a pity party, a predictable loser,” and I thought it was spam until more arrived. “Piece of shit!” “You think your writing is fantastic? Ha!” All from email addresses with my name, followed by something obscene. I had a stalker, and I didn’t understand why because I’m… Continue reading
About Me
Ordinary Person is a guy who likes to write. He writes fiction, essays, poems and other stuff.