humour
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The Job Interview
I’m sorry, Joink, but I can’t give you this job. You’re too happy to be a clown. Being one isn’t about going to clown school, cheering up a bunch of sick kids in the hospital, blowing balloons or doing cartwheels. It’s so much more than that. There’s a certain depth to this life that only… Continue reading
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Branching out
A friend once told me that his sorrow owed him something. I believed him then, but no longer do. The only thing my depression owes me is to stay far away from me, never nudging me to explore the darker places within — those desert spaces where the humidity kills and an umbra of madness… Continue reading
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On writing
If I taught poetry to students, I’d ask them to write in the language they think in and use the thesaurus wisely when they don’t. A simple sentence like the petrichor wafts through the mountains, bringing with it the smell of rich earth dampened by the rain can turn into a pappyshow of decent writing… Continue reading
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Pinky’s Burger House (Part 1.5)
Part 1 I’ve well documented my struggles with faith. I’d prefer not to dwell on it now though and instead give you part 2 of Pinky’s Burger House. Yes, all my posts are back. You can view them leisurely and lament my madness and yada yada. But before we launch into part 2 of Pinky’s… Continue reading
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Pinky’s Burger House (Part 1)
This is part 1 of a many part series about my experiences at a job I worked in recently. Whether this series is fact or pure fiction is up to the reader to decide. I woke up that crisp, winter morning hungover and went outside to get myself a cup of tea and a cigarette.… Continue reading
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Dungeon Master
So, to beat the Evil Fairy Queen, you’ll need 53 fortitude, 76 strength, 185 charisma, and 245000 luck. Then you’ll have to roll 21. Any number below it resets the entire game, and any number above it makes you go back to level 2. What? You think I’m being harsh? How are you going to… Continue reading
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A simple man
I cannot understand what you’re trying to say. I wish you’d rid your poems of fluff, obscure allusions and weird alliterative sequences and write in simple sentences. Better yet, I wish you’d give up poetry altogether and start writing prose. I don’t get why you must say, the son of perdition spitefully looks down at… Continue reading
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Daily Prompt
What do you complain about the most? A stalker (possibly from Canada) who uses a VPN to mask his location, and views my posts at least 70 times a day. I’m no longer bothered, though. More stats = A chance for me to introduce paid advertising here, and hope the idiot clicks on it. Continue reading
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Pseudo Mini Cantos
A.S. I have never read The Cantos and don’t plan on doing so. Sister Margaret’s resignation 1 It’s time for me to leave the nunnery, And become a pioneer of modern gunnery. To Agnes and Augustine, I’m no longer tied, I’m a gun moll and I need my Clyde. 2 enough of vespers and choir… Continue reading
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From the heart of the friendzone, the sequel
From TopGolf to skydiving to eating reindeer and an exquisite soufflé in Noma to letting me sleep in the Queen’s suite at the Ritz while you took an ordinary room, Mark, you’ve made me realise I must settle for nothing less than greatness in a man. Thank you so much for this friend-date/ friend-vacation/ friend-world tour.… Continue reading
About Me
Ordinary Person is a guy who likes to write. He writes fiction, essays, poems and other stuff.
Ordinary Person 