humour
-
Video game remakes
We’re living in the era of video game remakes, but what irritates me is that most of the remakes are the same game with gameplay improvements and next generation graphics. So, here’s my two cents. I’m sure a lot of you will disagree, but doesn’t debate fuel inspiration, making muses descend from their celestial abodes… Continue reading
-
From the heart of the friendzone
All day long, we cry for freedom, for the cupid to strike their hearts and make them finally see that we’re worth more than those muscular bad boys they fall for, just brawn with no substance who splinter their poor hearts, making them rush to us, and spill their woes like… Continue reading
-
The benefits of having a stalker
I remember the first comment. It said, “You’re a pity party, a predictable loser,” and I thought it was spam until more arrived. “Piece of shit!” “You think your writing is fantastic? Ha!” All from email addresses with my name, followed by something obscene. I had a stalker, and I didn’t understand why because I’m… Continue reading
-
The Normans
We founded the Taproom of Norm a few years ago after watching the television show ‘Cheers.’ The character Norm encouraged us because he represented the quintessential, lovable loser. But our beliefs have changed over the years because some Normans decided on a more hardcore, puritanical approach. At first, we were reluctant to add to our… Continue reading
-
Fine old gentlemen
We’re a bunch of elitists discussing the subtleties and nuances of a Rembrandt—the rich browns and the gentle beiges—in a stylish lounge bar, sipping on Château Cheval Blanc. We then talk about Ezra Pound and Fascism. “I quite enjoy him. He’s an exotic, fragile thrill,” I say; my voice, flavoured with an exquisite, rich, deep-as-marrow… Continue reading
-
Toad curry
I’m chef Frank Baudelaire of the three Michelin star restaurant Ambiance. Today I’m going to tell you a little about us and also guide you through the making of our world-famous dish, Toad curry. We started Ambiance in a little corner of Marseilles three years ago to give people an experience like none other. We… Continue reading
-
The rejection letter
Dear Writer, I’m afraid we have decided to reject your manuscript because it doesn’t feature a strong female protagonist. The narrative was good until Sasha forgave the men who catcalled her. It then spiralled into some psychobabble about redemption and beauty. We are looking for a gruesome story about revenge. You must remember that the… Continue reading
-
Well, if you’re really into unrequited love
Beloved, I’ve immortalised you in sonnet after sonnet, making you a blushing tulip in the gentle heat or a grey pearl that heals disease, but my lines meet oblivion. I wish you were the thrush that sat on my windowsill and pleased me with its aubade. I wish you were the Dandelion in my backyard… Continue reading
-
Cockroaches and Jazz
I’m a synthetic cockroach who was manufactured in a lab in Syria after the Third World War. Born with an IQ of over 200, they sent me on different espionage missions to the United States of Europe, and I complied and sent them tons of data using my antennae, but Avant-Garde Jazz changed everything. I… Continue reading
About Me
Ordinary Person is a guy who likes to write. He writes fiction, essays, poems and other stuff.
Ordinary Person 