I put my heart and my soul into my work, and have lost my mind in the process. – Vincent Van Gogh
We can’t work anymore —
father’s old and anxious,
staring at excel sheets,
mother’s arthritis restrains her,
praising God, her only succour,
and I have shadows enveloping thoughts
as I type this,
forgetting impending penury, and
that whatever kept us going so far
won’t last.
Photo by Charles Forerunner on Unsplash
For dVerse
I’m glad you could relate Pat. Thank you for your kind comment.
LikeLike
Yet we do cling on, do we not?
Cool Quad. Thanks.
LikeLike
True. We cling on, no matter what. Thank you for the comment.
LikeLike
This is great, Nitin. I wish I could say que sera sera, but I’m terrified of the future too.
LikeLike
I live each day saying que sera sera, but deep down there’s so much anguish and fear. I don’t know what the future holds and I’m too weak to confront it now. I’m glad you could relate Tanmay. Thank you so much for the comment.
LikeLike
Sounds as though you’re not forgetting though. The worry is there, in the shadows all the time.
LikeLike
True. I think worries are like that. Always lurking in the shadows. Thank you for the comment Jane.
LikeLike
I love this Nitin, especially the father/mother lines. (And the Van Gogh quote), and perfect title btw. Nice to meet you.
LikeLike
Nice to meet you too Yvonne 🙂 And thank you so much for your kind comment.
LikeLike
I love “shadows enveloping thoughts” ! Desolation so well expressed, Nitin.
LikeLike
I felt this, deeply.
LikeLike
Thank you very much.
LikeLike
So much anguish here about what will come out of the encroaching shadows.
(Also, there’s a nineteenth-century feel to this for me, except for the Excel–it seems like lines from a Dickens novel. Perhaps it’s the word “penury,” or perhaps the world has not changed so much.)
LikeLike
Thank you Merril. I’m glad you could sense the anguish. I wonder if people use the word penury anymore. I thought of using something indirect like chaos or bedlam, but I stuck with the word. It’s nice that you think that the poem has a nineteenth century feel.
LikeLike
I like the word penury, and no I don’t think it’s used often. That’s what made it seem nineteenth-century to me. 🙂
LikeLike
The future is shadowy and hope is what keeps one going on. There is truth in your words.
LikeLike
Thank you very much. Yes we have to hold on to hope.
LikeLike
This letter could have been one I never got the chance to write a few years ago😊.
LikeLike
It’s a sad reality sometimes. For many people. I’m glad you could relate to it. Thank you Janice.
LikeLike
An ominous feel to this yet that is what some days are like. Those shadows lurk and I could “see” them hovering over you in this poem.
LikeLike
I guess they were hovering. True. Life can be like that sometimes. Dark and difficult.
LikeLike
‘I have shadows enveloping thoughts’ – a great line. The future is scary at times.
LikeLike
Thank you. Yes, the future can definitely be scary.
LikeLike
No matter how much light exists, shadow must also exist. If you can keep a fair balance between the two you can maybe charge up your strength. Wishing you success, Nitin.
LikeLike
That’s very true. There’s always light and shadow involved in all aspects of life. Thank you for the encouraging comment 🙂
LikeLike
Nitin,
I have shadows enveloping thoughts
as I type this,
forgetting impending penury, and
that whatever kept us going so far
won’t last.
This is so hard… and so relatable! I often feel similarly… shadows around my thoughts and trying not to worry about money… sigh
Much love,
David
LikeLike
Ugh I hope I don’t get to that point in my life but I’m sure I probably will!
LikeLike
Ordinary Person is a guy who likes to write. He writes fiction, essays, poems and other stuff. You’ll find his other blog here.
Ordinary Person 
Leave a reply to merrildsmith Cancel reply